Parenthood is a journey filled with love, chaos, and a healthy dose of humor. For all the parents navigating this wild adventure, we’ve gathered 45 funny and relatable quotes and sayings that capture the lighter side of being a parent. They are uplifting and remind us to laugh at life’s craziness. So, take a moment to laugh and realize you’re not alone in this crazy, wonderful parenting world!
45 Funny Quotes and Sayings About Parenting
- “Parenthood: the scariest hood you’ll ever go through.” Unknown
- “I love cleaning up messes I didn’t make. So I became a parent.” Unknown
- “My kids call it yelling when I raise my voice. I call it motivational speaking for the selective listener.” Unknown
- “A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.” Jerry Seinfeld
- The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable. Unknown
- “My biggest parenting conundrum: Why is it so hard to put someone who is already sleepy to sleep?” Chrissy Teigen
- “My kids wanted a bedtime horror story. So I just read them my utility bills.” Unknown
- “A crying baby is the best form of birth control.” Carole Tabron
- “Remember, having a toddler is like being at a mini-bar: everyone’s shouting, nothing’s where it’s supposed to be, and at the end of the night, everybody cries.” Unknown
- “Having a child is like getting a tattoo on your face. You better be committed.” Unknown
- “I used to have functioning brain cells, but I traded them in for children.” Unknown
- “Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.” Unknown
- “Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is just suspicious.” Unknown
- “Being a parent means mastering the art of saying, ‘Maybe’ and hoping they forget.” Unknown
- “Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.” Unknown
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16. “My nickname is ‘Mom,’ but my full name is ‘Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom.'” Unknown
17. “Before I had kids, I didn’t know I could ruin someone’s day by saying, ‘Get dressed, please.'” Unknown
18. Why do kids have so much energy? Because they suck it out of their parents.” Unknown
19. “Parenting tip: If you don’t know where your kids are in the house, turn off the internet and watch them magically appear.” Unknown
20. “Having a baby is like suddenly getting the world’s worst roommate.” Anne Lamott
21. “I love all my children equally, except for the one who sleeps. I love that one most.” Unknown
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22. “Parenthood: When ‘sleeping in’ means getting up after 6:30 a.m.” Unknown
23. “I childproofed my house, but they still get in.” Unknown
24. “You know you’re a parent when you understand why Mama Bear’s porridge was cold.” Unknown
25. It’s not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” Betty White
26. “Having children is like living in a frat house, nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” Unknown
27. “I’ve learned it’s way harder to be a baby. I haven’t thrown up since the ’90’s and she’s thrown up twice since we started this interview.” Eva Mendes
28. “You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” Unknown
29. You know you’re a parent when you understand why animals eat their young.” Unknown
30. “People who say, they sleep like a baby, usually don’t have one.” Leo Burke
31. “Nothing is truly lost until your child can’t find it.” Unknown
32. “Parenthood: the only place you can experience heaven and hell at the same time.” Unknown
33. “No animal is so inexhaustible as an excited infant.” Amy Leslie
34. “For me, ‘baking’ with my kids means entering the kitchen yelling ‘Don’t touch anything!'” Unknown
35. “I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.” Kevin Hart
36. “Being a parent means saying things like, ‘Thank you for not licking the window.'” Unknown
37. “Sleep at this point is just a concept my body once knew.” Unknown
38. “Nothing better than spending an entire morning staring into my baby daughter’s eyes, whispering, ‘I can’t do this’.” Ryan Reynolds
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39. “If you’ve never shouted ‘Shoes!’ 47 times before leaving the house, do you even have kids?” Unknown
40. “I asked my kids to play quietly so we could rest, and they started playing ‘funeral.'” Unknown
41. Being a dad isn’t just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word hero.” Ryan Reynolds
42. “Today I gave my toddler a slice of cheese that he wanted, but I broke it in two because it was too big. He’s been plotting my demise ever since.” Unknown
43. “The first rule of parenting club is you do not talk about parenting club.” Unknown
44. “Sleep when your baby sleeps, everyone knows this classic tip. But I say, why stop there? Scream when your baby screams, take Benadryl when your baby takes Benadryl, and walk around pantless when your baby walks around pantless.” Tina Fey
45. When kids hit one year old, it’s like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold on to them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.” Johnny Depp
Conclusion
In wrapping up our funny parenting quotes, we see how laughter is key in the parenting journey. Whether it’s the endless laundry or the surprise adventures, parenting sure comes with its share of surprises. However, even in the tough moments, we can find reasons to smile. These quotes remind us that a good laugh can make even the toughest days a little lighter. So next time you feel overwhelmed, remember these laughs, and know you’ve got this!
