Funny Quotes That Capture the Joy and Humor of Marriage

July 29, 2024

Marriage is often described as the ultimate partnership, where two people embark on a lifelong journey together, sharing joys, challenges, and several moments. This sacred bond is celebrated across cultures and religions, symbolizing love, commitment, and unity. However, marriage is not without its humorous side. From quirky habits to amusing misunderstandings, the everyday moments shared between spouses can be a source of endless laughter.

In this collection, we delve into the lighter side of marriage with funny quotes and sayings that highlight the joy and humor found in this timeless institution.

37 Funny Quotes And Sayings That Captures Hilarious Side of Marriage

  1. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
  2. I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
  3. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
  4.  A good marriage is like a casserole: only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
  5.   Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
  6.  Before marrying someone, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.
  7.  My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
  8.   I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She said, ‘Nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace.’ So, I got her nothing.
  9.  A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other or admit they’re wrong.
  10.  Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
  11.  Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.
  12. My husband and I have a secret to making a marriage last: twice a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have some good food, and companionship. He goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
  13. Why do married people live longer? Because they can’t argue when they’re dead.
  14. The four most important words in any marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.
  15. Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.
  16. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person – and pretending to laugh at their jokes.
  17. I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
  18. My husband thinks I’m crazy, but I’m not the one who married me.
  19. Marriage is when a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gets her master’s degree.
  20. Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.
  21. There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is, I’ll get married again.
  22. In my house, I’m the boss. My wife is just the decision-maker.
  23. I’m in a long-term relationship with stability. We have a lot of trust issues.
  24. Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution yet.
  25. A man’s main job is to protect his woman from her desire to ‘get bangs’ every other month.
  26. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, ‘In the lake’.
  27. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
  28.   Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
  29.  My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong, and she agrees with me.
  30.  Marriage is just fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore.
  31.  Marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than you so they won’t eat all of yours.
  32.  A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
  33. I’m writing a book about my experience as a frustrated married man. It’s a joint autobiography.
  34. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
  35.  Marriage: because your Netflix account shouldn’t be the only one you share passwords with.
  36. Being married is mostly about knowing which person is more tired so you can argue about who’s more tired.
  37. Marriage is a workshop… where the husband works and the wife shops.

Conclusion

As we conclude this collection of funny quotes about marriage, it’s clear that humor is an essential ingredient in maintaining a happy and healthy relationship. Laughter helps couples navigate the ups and downs of married life, making even the toughest moments a bit more bearable. Whether it’s a witty remark or a playful jab, these quotes remind us that while marriage is a serious commitment, it’s also filled with countless opportunities for fun and laughter. So, cherish the humor in your relationship, and remember to always find time to laugh together.

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