(Enduring a lifelong trauma of the tragic deaths of two sisters)
For years, every Friday afternoon after school, Lin, a teenager, would visit her grandmother for a couple of hours before heading home. This weekly ritual became a cherished routine for both of them after Lin’s grandfather passed away a few years prior. Less than a mile away, Lin lived with her parents and two brothers. She and her brothers affectionately called their grandmother “G-ma.” In addition to assisting with chores, Lin grew to love listening to her grandmother’s stories of events of the past. Such as how things used to be when she was growing up. Lin found some of them very fascinating but learned a lesson or two from G-ma’s experiences. Despite all the moments they had spent together, Lin believed she had heard every story her grandmother had to tell, until one particular Friday afternoon.
The visit started like any of the previous ones. After they had shared a snack, Lin got ready to wash G-ma’s hair and helped her tidy up around the apartment. That was the time they usually share stories and while doing so, Lin mentioned how one of her classmates who had lost a family was asked to leave the classroom twice that week for breaking down crying hysterically.
Upon hearing this, there was a brief silence, and then G-ma remarked that perhaps the girl was very sad and couldn’t control herself. She continued: “In times of mourning, there would be some days a person might think she is ok and even believe that she’s back to being herself but then the slightest thing will cause her to break.”
Surprised by her grandmother’s comment as she had never witnessed her cry, not even when her husband of many decades passed away. Curious, she asked her grandmother why she hadn’t cried then. Initially ignoring the question, G-ma eventually paused from her tasks after several similar inquiries from Lin. With a deep sigh, she slowly sat down with a very somber expression while she stared at the floor, as though she was deliberating on what to say. Lin sensed right away that whatever G-ma was about to share would be unlike any other stories she had heard. This was evident because Lin had never seen her grandmother take a break from any activities just to engage in a conversation. After mumbling some words to herself, G-ma began to reveal a brief account of what had been weighing on her since her childhood.
In the early 1920s, she was a pre-teen and the third of seven children. 6 girls and a boy who was the middle child. Among the three eldest girls, G-ma was the only one who found joy in staying home and assisting their mother in looking after her younger siblings. She shared a special bond with her two youngest sisters, both under three years old. Their close age proximity often led people to mistake them for twins. The family lived in a small house located on the outskirts of a remote small town with a large yard next to the house where the neighborhood children gathered to play. With no access to running water, the community relied on several wells around the area. Conveniently, there was a pond near G-ma’s family home that was clean enough for various uses, though not suitable for drinking.
G-ma loved the role of being the ‘second mom’ to her two youngest sisters whether their mother was around or not. In that era and where she grew up, girls were discouraged from attending school, so that meant she was home most of the time doing what she loved. Babysitting. As a result, her sisters developed a strong affection for her. For example, whenever one of them refused to eat, their mother would summon G-ma for help, knowing that she had a unique way of handling such situations. And with G-ma’s involvement in feeding, the issue would be swiftly resolved.
Despite her young age at the time, friends of her mother and neighbors often joked about how G-ma’s nurturing attitude toward her sisters hinted at her future as a mother of many children, given her love for kids. This comment filled G-ma with immense pride.
Then, one fateful day, the family’s tranquil world was turned upside down. While playing with her sisters, she suddenly recalled that she needed to purchase an ingredient for dinner. Familiar with this routine, she left her sisters playing and hurried off, assuming she would return promptly to resume their activities. Shortly after, while skipping back to the yard, she noticed neighbors rushing in from all directions, their expressions filled with urgency. Perplexed, she paused and scanned the scene, attempting to comprehend the cause of the commotion. She watched as one of her mother’s friends who lived close by screamed uncontrollably with her hands in the air. The scene hinted that something grave had occurred, but she swiftly brushed aside the notion, as she couldn’t fathom anything of that magnitude happening in the short time she was away. The fear of the realizing that something serious was unfolding, particularly involving a family member, was paralyzing. She was too afraid to approach and learn more. Her feet trembled as she stood at a distance, feeling isolated as she watched the events unfold.
A man who appeared to have been kneeling on the ground surrounded by the rest slowly stood and shook his head in despair and began to walk away. His actions confirmed their worst fears, igniting the place with wails and an overwhelming sense of sorrow. Young G-ma watched in a daze as people displayed their emotions. She was stunned by the shock wave that shook the entire village.
Before long, young G-ma learned that both of her sister had drowned in the pond. A boy playing nearby sounded an alarm upon seeing the sisters in the pond. Sadly, by the time an adult reached the scene to rescue them, it was already too late. All attempts to revive the sisters failed. Nobody saw when or how it happened, but it was speculated that the sisters wandered to the pond perhaps looking for their big sister after she left them and tragically ended up in the pond.
From that moment, she was unable to shed tears over the tragedy and questioned why she couldn’t. For years, the images of her deceased sisters appeared whenever she closed her eyes to sleep, a secret she kept hidden from everyone.
With time, life slowly turned to normal, but she couldn’t forgive herself for their deaths. Somehow, she believed that her sisters died because of the love they shared, creating an awful fear of being cursed by the death of those she loved or showed affection towards. This consuming fear of loss haunted her at every stage in her life, leading her to decide against loving anyone as deeply as she had loved her sisters. G-ma had not talked about the effects of her sisters’ demise on her until then and neither had she cried about it.
Lin was handing G-ma another tissue to wipe her tears when G-ma fell to the floor wailing. She watched helplessly as her grandma sobbed uncontrollably. Lin quickly called her mother to come over when she realized it was difficult to console her grandmother. The first time her mother learned about that family history.
Later on, G-ma reported having a few sad days following the talk with Lin but after that, she felt relieved and started feeling better than she had since the very moment she learned about her sisters’ deaths. From then on, she only thought of them when she prayed and hoped that she would see them soon as she felt that her own time was near.
