Women are strong, intelligent, resilient, and undeniably hilarious! Whether it’s cracking jokes about life, love, or the quirks of being a woman, this collection of funny quotes captures the humor in everyday moments. From witty observations to laugh-out-loud remarks, these quotes are bound to bring a smile to your face. So, whether you’re looking for a pick-me-up or just want to celebrate the lighter side of womanhood, here are 43 funny quotes about women that will brighten your day.
43 Funny Quotes About Women
- “I’m on my second guardian angel. My first one quit and is now in therapy.” Unknown
- “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” Jim Carrey
- “I’m on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 15 days.” Unknown
- “I don’t need an inspirational quote, I need coffee.” Unknown
- “My mascara runs faster than I do.” Unknown
- “I’m not bossy, I have leadership skills.” Unknown
- “A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.” Oliver Herford
- “A woman is like a tea bag; you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.” Eleanor Roosevelt
- “I’m a woman, what’s your superpower?” Unknown
- “Sometimes I think I’m too picky, then I watch my dog look for a place to poop.” Unknown
- “Why don’t women have good hair days on the same day they need to take their driver’s license photo?” Unknown
- “I like my money where I can see it hanging in my closet.” Carrie Bradshaw
- “I cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.” W.C. Fields
- “A woman’s perfume tells more about her than her handwriting.” Christian Dior
- “Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with.” Unknown
- “If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.” Katharine Hepburn
- “Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.” Mae West
- “I’m not short, I’m fun-sized!” Unknown
- “Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.” Unknown
- “A woman’s favorite position is CEO.” Unknown
- “The only thing I’m chasing is my dreams, and maybe a glass of wine.” Unknown
- “Being a woman is hard. Like running a marathon in heels hard.” Unknown
- “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” Douglas Adams
- “Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.” Unknown
- “I speak two languages: English and Sarcasm.” Unknown
- “Sure, I could be a morning person, if morning started at noon.” Unknown
- “If we’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?” Unknown
- “There’s no such thing as a dumb question, just dumb people who ask questions.” Unknown
- “I woke up like this, flawless, but tired.” Unknown
- “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” Marilyn Monroe
- “Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet. No one really knows how.” Unknown
- “I drink coffee because adulting is hard.” Unknown
- “Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend obviously never owned a dog.” Unknown
- “Don’t be a lady, be a legend.” Unknown
- “I like long romantic walks… to the fridge.” Unknown
- “I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget all at the same time.” Unknown
- “Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s caffeine.” Unknown
- “Some women want diamonds. Others just want a giant bag of carbs.” Unknown
- “Women may not be perfect, but we’re always right.” Unknown
- “Note to self: Don’t let your mind wander, it’s too small to be out on its own.” Unknown
- “If a woman says, ‘Do whatever you want,’ do not, under any circumstances, do whatever you want.” Unknown
- “A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.” Unknown
- “Too glam to give a damn.” Unknown
Conclusion
Laughter truly is the best medicine, and these funny quotes about women prove that humor can be found in all aspects of life. Whether you’re celebrating the strong, funny women in your life or just looking for a light-hearted laugh, these quotes remind us of the power of wit and charm. Life is full of challenges, but a good sense of humor will always help you overcome them with a smile.
